you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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