Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
