Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
