can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
