its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
