it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
