she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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