I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
