Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
