Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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