I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So vagazzling was a success
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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