Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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