For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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