Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
