She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
