your room smells of hookers.
And success
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You left your underwear on the fireplace
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
