just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
