I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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