I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
PANTIES FOUND
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