I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Randomize
