Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
