omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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