dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
