I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's the barista slut.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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