ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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