So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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