The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
