Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
