They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
