it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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