Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
