Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
