whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
