McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
