Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think my fart just growled at me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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