"it" just moved
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
