You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
