SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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