I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
