Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
