is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
