A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
