oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
