sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
