3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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