I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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