I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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