Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
