when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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