Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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